Hints for Parents to Start Talking With Children about Sexuality

• Set good examples that show kids how our lives are enriched by our values.
• Reassure them that they're normal.
• Build their self-esteem — give credit for talents and accomplishments, offer constructive advice, and avoid criticism and punishment.
• Respect our kids' privacy as much as we value our own. Do not pry.
• Use correct names for sex organs and sexual behaviors.
• Take advantage of "teachable moments." A friend's pregnancy, neighborhood gossip, and TV shows can help start a conversation.
• Include topics such as sexual orientation, sexual abuse, and prostitution.
• Be clear about our values and let kids know that others may have different values about sexuality. Teach them that respect for differences is important.
• Don't use scare tactics as a way to stop young people from having sex — it doesn't work.
• Give accurate, honest, short, and simple answers.
• Admit when we don't know an answer. We can help our kids find the answer in a book or other resource.
• Accept questions at face value. For example, "How old do you have to be to 'have sex?'" doesn't necessarily mean, "I'm thinking about having sex."
• Let our kids know that we're available, and make it a habit to share what we think and feel.
• Ask questions even if they don't — questions about what they think and what they know.
• Figure out what we want to say about our own feelings and values before we speak.
• Let our body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice support what we say with words.
• Get to know the world in which our kids live. What pressures are they feeling? What do they consider normal?

source: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/